This week I was asked the question, "Why do guys hang out with girls?". A good question, which probes deep into the realms of the male psyche. Unfortunately my immediate, if not honest, response was, "SEX!", shouted at the top of my lungs (- although admittedly I had only heard the word, "girls", and had mistakenly thought that we were playing a word association game!). Obviously if I had taken an extra minute to think about my answer properly, I would have formulated an infinitely more grown-up reply like... erm... "kinky sex". Obviously.

So like, wow... April 2011 was the last time that one of these went out! - I'm no genius, but that's almost definitely more than a month ago, maybe even more than two! (Or 'deux' if you're reading this in France!).

Well it's been a busy old twelve-and-a-bit months that's for sure - for a start, I've become an uncle! People keep congratulating me as if I'd had something to do with it; and, whilst I love my sister, I believe it was the great philosopher Meatloaf who once said/sang/wailed, "I would do anything for love, but I won't do that". But then ol' Meat's from Texas, where that sort of stuff's 'kinda' legal, so he was probably singing about something different. Probably.
I know all uncles are contractually obliged to say how pretty their nieces are - and my opinion is of no exception. It's kinda obvious that I had no 'involvement' in the whole affair though, as she doesn't look like an extra from 'The Hills Have Eyes', or even worse, 'The Hills'.

What else has happened? Well on top of becoming an uncle, I'm now also 'officially' an award-winning stand-up comedian; winner as I am of the 'Chester 2012 Comedy Awards'! Ok, so potentially I'm over emphasizing the grandeur of said award - but heck, I'm a narcissist with no shame, so I'm just going to revel in my glory!
So how did that come about? Boring story made short - a friend entered me into the competition, told me it was for charity (one for sick kids no less) and therefore leaving me no option to back out. Three months later I'm on stage making people laugh. Making people laugh hard(ish) - dang it though, I'd have been happy with polite giggles.
I should probably mention that the charity was the very worthy Claire House & that the friend in question was also called Clare - and although Clare assures me that the money I raised wasn't being used to help fund her mortgage, I'm not entirely convinced...
I never expected to win mind you, I thought I'd be like one of those 'Britain's Got Talent' rejects who'd only dared venture onto the stage because their friends 'think' that they're funny... I'm still not fully convinced that that isn't the case mind you! (Check out the YouTube vid & make up your own mind!).

In other news, it's been a tad warmer than usual this week - and now being part of the convertible sports-car owners club, I'm enjoying all the thrills of third-degree burns to my forehead. Why won't anyone educate me on the proper use of sun cream?! That said, at the ripe old age of thirty - after almost ten years of living away from home - I've only just this week discovered the joys of fabric-softener, thanks to a tip-off from a work colleague. Not only are my clothes softer & smelling nicer, but it turns out that it was just poorly conditioned smalls (actually make that larges, no - extra larges - wink wink ladies!) that had been causing all the itching that I'd been worried about! Phew!

Anyway, that's enough rambling for now - it's kinda getting late & I've got school in the morning! Maybe next time I'll be back with some of that 'actual news' that I've heard people talking about!

I'll leave you with a piece of music that's been stuck in my head for at least 20 years, and, thanks to the powers of the internet, I have finally managed to track down what it's actually from (Did you know in France Penny was called Sophie?).

G'nite mes amis!