Miscarriages, domestic violence & death - yes, I've just watched Disney Pixar's "UP", and apparently the "up" doesn't stand for "uplifting"! - I had to put on Watership Down for a pick-me-up...
So the blogs have been a little thin on the ground of recent - I know that I had promised to make them more frequent, but the problem is that they take time - more specifically my time.
I guess the main driver for my literary chastity is that I've been off the 'sauce' for about a month now, which always brings out my inner hyperpolysyllabicsesquipedalianist. Not that there's anything wrong with the occasional bout of verbal callisthenics - but it does make me sound like a dick.
Thankfully birthday drinkies last Saturday have managed to render impotent around 75% of the braincells that had shown the audacity to grow back - yay!
Ah, the joy of words - like my women, I guess I've always been inextricably drawn to the simple, pretty ones. The concatonation of words 'cellar door' is often speculated as being the most beautiful phrase in the English language. Maybe it's because it sounds a bit French, but I think you'd be hard pressed to find someone who doesn't think it sounds just a little bit pretty (unless your surname is Fritzl - then I suppose you may quite literally have a different perspective).
I've never been very good with words, then again neither was Einstein and that didn't stop him from making it as a rapper (ah good old DJ EMC2).
They are funny when you think about them though, I never understood why bra is singular & yet panties are plural?
Thankfully I have my freshly acquired cooking skills to fall back on during my bout of linguistic dysphasia. This week I made both curry & steak for tea (although obviously not at the same time... I'm not an animal!). The problem I have with cooking though, is that I'm one man making enough for two - and then eating it all. Thursday this saw the consumption of just over 20oz of steak, which left me wanting (for lack of a more eloquent description) a really big poo. Damn it tasted good though.
Just to clarify that's the steak that tasted good, not the...
On a lighter note, I've just found out that the catholic church has launched an iPhone app for keeping track of sins. Now you can track your blasphemy on the go without having to drop to your knees in front of some creepy old man & confessing just how 'naughty' you've been.
I have to admit the thought of confession just leaves a bitter taste in my mouth - but I guess that's why they brought in the app! (Bags packed for an eternity in hell... check).
Right time to go - 'Snog, Marry, Avoid?' is on, today featuring Wayne Rooney's transvestite cousin 'Coleen Smelly-Bean'... classy...
G'day / G'nite / G'afternoon all!
"Bright eyes, burning like fire..."
