Apparently it's a bad idea to admit that you're not a doctor BEFORE you leave the surgery - ah well, you live and learn...

This morning Yahoo News greeted me with the headline, "Lucky Brit wins EuroMillions jackpot". Lucky 'Brit' wasn't exactly what I was thinking when I saw the news, it sure rhymed 'Brit' though! £56 million... I have no idea how I'd spend that much money! - Well... actually most of it would probably be blown on women, fast cars and alcohol - the rest I'd probably just waste.

I found out yesterday that a local man (from Chester for the non-locals) - has been arrested for the act of 'bestiality'. Allegedly (I don't want to get sued) he was caught 'in the act' with his pet Labrador... now a German Shepherd I could understand - but a Labrador?! Sicko.
Another term for bestiality is 'zoophilia', which, with more than a hint of tragic irony, is also where 'dog boy' works. Obviously this has broadened the scope of the police investigation as they strive to find out whether he stuck his p-p-pr [Censored - but you can guess where this is going] up a penguin.
The alleged suspect was also in ownership of a Chihuahua. When questioned as to whether said pet was also a victim, the suspect claimed that, "he could never stoop that low" (I stole that one from my dad).
The suspects current response to the charges is that he had been 'led' astray, and that Lassie had been 'begging' for it. The prosecution have however slammed his defence, saying that it's just plain 'barking'. In a statement issued by the police, they have said that the suspect should be expecting some 'ruff' justice.

Apparently the latest celeb craze is 'teacup pigs' - piggies so small that they can actually fit inside a teacup. These little porkers are also affectionately referred to as 'micro-pigs' - why do I feel hungry of a sudden?!

It still remains unclear as to whether 'dog boy' has attempted to make 'micro-pigs' at any point... maybe that's how Harry Potter got 'Hog warts'...